The Gang Carries A Corpse Up A Mountainit's Alw... (2026)
“It’s not a crime if the mountain claims him, Charlie!”
Is the "Sherpa." He’s carrying 80lbs of unnecessary protein powder and trying to perform "tactical ocular pat-downs" on nearby hikers. The Gang Carries a Corpse Up a MountainIt's Alw...
Chugging wine from a soda can and trailing 50 yards behind, shouting about "the hoors" he met in these woods in the 70s. “It’s not a crime if the mountain claims him, Charlie
Tasked with carrying the "Corpse-Bag." She is convinced this is her "Wild" moment and keeps trying to record a gritty, inspirational vlog. Wearing $1,200 high-tech "peak performance" tactical gear
Wearing $1,200 high-tech "peak performance" tactical gear. He spends the entire hike critiquing everyone’s "form" while secretly being the most out of shape.
Halfway up, they realize the "map" is just a placemat from a defunct Shoney’s. Dennis has a meltdown about the "implication" of being trapped on a cliffside with a dead body, while Charlie realizes they’ve been carrying the wrong corpse the entire time.
Refuses to wear boots. He’s hiking in thermal underwear and "mountain-grease" to ward off "Summit Ghouls."